6 Comments

Lovelorn

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Due to an overwhelming amount of requests, I’ve decided to start up a new page called “Lovelorn”.

Basically, it’s a Dear Chester advice column.

My recent success with women, Cougar, the fitness instructor and I am not sure what other admirers I may have, have led to me receiving a lot of requests for my advice.

I do feel I have a lot to offer on the advice about love, but don’t limit your requests to that. I have lots of life experience I am willing to share with you.

This photo is not of I, Chester-the-Cat but of another cat. My sister wanted to take my photo but I refuse to wear glasses for anyone. Just imagine me though sitting on the couch and giving you my valuable advice.

Just write to me in the comments section below and I shall reply to your query.

I look forward to assisting you with some expert cat advice.

Best,
Chester

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6 comments on “Lovelorn

  1. Dear Chester,
    I am cat-minding for a friend and wanted some advice or tips on cat-sitting. Pushkin is a middle aged energetic cat who is happy to sit on my lap once a day for some attention. However, I remain altert during this time, as she does have a street-fighting background.

    She is now a content house-bound cat who got so used to this new plush lifestyle her mother (as ordered by a vet) has her on diet. Pushkin gets one treat a day- a fozen prawn – although this is not good for her cholestoral level.
    Pushkin seems content with me so far, but do you have any tips on what I might do to make my stay, and her more pleasant?

    Live- in
    Cat-sitter

  2. Dear Live-in Cat-sitter,

    You are nice to care for your adopted fur child. I like that about you.

    However, one frozen prawn per day? Hmmm, I am not too sure about that. Sounds like more torture than a treat.

    If you’re worried about her health, then maybe she could join Cleo and my boxing classes?

    I would recommend she have some basic comforts, I suggest a mink blanket, some premium tuna, nothing frozen and maybe something to stimulate her like a toy mouse or something.

    You could even show her a picture of me if you really want to stimulate her, I am quite popular with the ladies these days, and especially the middle aged ones.

    All the best,
    Chester-the-Cat

  3. Thanks Ches-STAR for your invaluable advice!
    I will print a photo of you for the fridge, Pushkin likes the fridge.
    I was actually meant to key-in that “apart” from her diet food at night and morning… she also gets a treat of one prawn!
    I will look in the shops for the other items you suggest!
    I will let you know Pushkin responds,

    Regards
    Live-in-Cat-Sitter
    (Cat-Minder-Extraordinaire)

  4. Dear Cat-Minder-Extraordinaire,

    Yes, I, Chester-the-Cat realise you feed Pushkin’s more than one frozen prawn per day. However, it still sounds like torture, sorry. My Mum has been trained to feed me only the best tuna, nothing less is acceptable, and that’s as a treat – not my main meal.

    I do think Pushkin would appreciate having a photo of me on the fridge. It may boost her morale to see a handsome single male nearby. Though I’m not sure I’ll be single after Saturday night with Cougar ;-)

    All the best,
    Chester.

  5. […] always thought of myself as a good role model to other cats (dogs and humans […]

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